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  #1  
Old 09-26-2002, 12:15 PM
MrM MrM is offline
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Posts: 232
Default Incorporating a Discipline Contract into a Spanking Relationship.

Incorporating a Discipline Contract into a spanking relationship.

There are many aspects to a spanking fetish that people find exciting. There is the actual physical act of spanking. This generally will stimulate nerves in the area of the genitals and produce sexual excitement. A big part of it is the submissive aspect. As a grown adult, being ordered by someone to remove some of your clothes, to have to stay still while someone inflicts pain upon your body, to cooperate and sometimes even assist in your own punishment is a very submissive act. All of these put together make for a very dynamic and powerful experience. One of the things I think is often missing from the equation is the element of being in trouble. This is one of the most powerful aspects of spanking scene, but often is neglected.

Sure, there is often role playing and people assume the various roles to try and add the punishment aspect to a scene. But playing a “naughty girl” and actually being one are two entirely separate experiences. The tough part is finding a way to realistically be “in trouble” as an adult. This article will focus on the creation of a “discipline contract” between consenting adults.

Our goal is to create a situation in which the person who receives the spanking actually has a real reason to be spanked, to take the scene beyond a playful spanking and to add the discipline or punishment element to the whole process. I think if you talk to those who fantasize about being spanked, less than half of the fantasy revolves around actually being spanked. In their mind they spend a lot of time focusing on being in trouble, being lectured, and the fear and apprehension preceding their spanking. Put all of these together and we are not just dealing with a spanking, we are dealing with a punishment.

An effective way to add this entire element is through the use of a discipline contract. Simply stated, this is a document that provides a list of offenses that can be committed that will result in corporal punishment. The contract can be as simple or as detailed as you like. Some people like to list every offense and what the resulting punishment will be for each offense. Often going as far as stating what the punishment will be for each instance of a single offense. Others just like to list offenses, making the resulting punishment a complete surprise.

I feel it is best to start simple. One of the main things to consider is the dynamics of the relationship. The offenses should start off simple and fairly harmless. You do not want to put items on the list that are a major source of friction between the partners. If there is a subject that often leads to arguments, when getting started, we do not want to include this. The whole purpose of the discipline contract is to add some fun and excitement to spanking relationship. Including things that are a constant source of tension will lead to resentment from the spankings. When originally drafting the contract, all offenses should be mutually agreed on before hand. This covers all the bases and makes sure both parties involved are comfortable with the agreement.

The whole point is to setup a cause and effect situation. The person bound to the duties and tasks of the contract will know that participating in the undesirable behavior will lead to consequences in the form of corporal punishment. This creates a real life situation of an adult actually being in trouble. It allows for punishments to be “earned”. It allows for a spanking to actually be deserved.

As you grow more comfortable with the contract, you may try to add some things that are a little more important in your lives. It may actually allow for the reduction of a behavior that both parties find undesirable and would like to eliminate. My personal experience has shown that if you really want to use the contract to make real changes in someone’s life, the punishments need to be fairly hard. Spanking someone for an offense when they enjoy being spanked, does little to control an undesirable behavior. But, if taken to a level that truly provides long term discomfort, they may think twice before committing the same infraction again. It is a fine line and sometimes a difficult one to balance. If you are very serious about making changes, then you may need to incorporate other elements, beyond that of spanking, which you know the person does not like. Then, regardless of how much they enjoy being spanked; there will be negative reinforcement for the behavior, which they will not look forward to. There are many traditional punishments, which still lie within the realm of corporal punishment, that are very effective. The use of corner time, washing the mouth out with soap, loss of privileges, etc., all serve as good deterrents.

Be creative with your punishments; make them feel like a little kid again. Make them feel like they are in trouble and make the punishment fit the crime. Include lots of scolding and make them promise that it will never happen again. Stick within the bounds of the contract and do not abuse your power. This is not a vessel in which to turn your partner into a housekeeper. Do not add things to the contract that both parties do not agree to. Keep it fair, but follow through with each and every punishment. If the infraction makes it onto the contract, there is no warning for the first offense. The contract itself serves the purpose of a warning for every offense. If someone violates any aspect of the contract, an immediate punishment should follow. If a particular offense is repeated often, the intensity of the punishment should increase accordingly.

For a basic sample contract click here www.worldspankingforum.com/contract.htm
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  #2  
Old 10-16-2002, 02:39 PM
paul4444
 
Posts: n/a
Default MrM

dear sir
you post was great and i agree with every word you said but you are a very lucky man i have seen you punished by beutifull ladyD over her knee and spanked now to be spanked otk by ladyD to me would be touching god she is ultra beutifull she has a perfect body what could anyone ask for your a lucky man when i was in my 30s a lady stayed with us i had known her since she young she had no figure then but now she was tall and very nice she had nice legs when she showed them they were large enough to put my over one of them her name was janice she thought a lot of me i get on well with ladys in my room upstairs is my recording room thats were i do all my work thats before inernet came on now there are 12 computers in there its fantastic i built it myself in those days it was sound only some times when i was on my own janice would look after me she would make me dinner while i was working janice would stand no hum bug she was always telling me off i think she would have made a good misstress she could command a person well with no butts she would tell me my dinner was ready and to come down but i always finished my work she would say it a 2nd time but on the 3rd time she would say if you dont come down the bloody stairs now i will come up there and smack your bloody bum it used to make me tingle all over and blush then i would go down stairs her eyes would be full of fire and she would say to me do as your bloody told next time she never spanked me ever but i got worned meny times janice left 10 years ago i always think of her meny times janice used to were jeans and slacks when she wore a skirt or dress it was just below the knee you could always see her loverly legs they were georgus i always think what she would have done if she had spanked me would she have put my over those georgus legs would she have had a hard hand would she have taken my jeans down i will never know those days have gone and will not return they live in my mind always so anyone reading this if your a noughty boy and your lady ses she will smack your bum if you dont do as your told let her do it dont miss your chance best wishes to you all paul barry
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  #3  
Old 10-16-2002, 10:59 PM
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MissJ MissJ is offline
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Posts: 33
Default Paul

I am pleased that you enjoyed Mr. M's article regarding Punishment Contracts, however I must through in a comment. I think that you may be confused as to what video you saw that gave you the impression that Lady D has had Mr. M over her knee. I am absolutely certain that this has never happened on or off camera. There are some very early videos of him over my knee on www.realspankings.com and www.women-spanking-men.com, but those were done some time ago. Perhaps you saw one of our male participants over Lady D's lap on women-spanking-men and thought that it was Mr. M.
Either way, I just thought I would clarify.

Miss J
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  #4  
Old 10-17-2002, 10:45 AM
paul4444
 
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Default Miss j

dear Miss j
thank you very mutch for putting me write i saw the image of the gentlman giving flowers to you all and he looked like MrM ladyD was spanking him over her knee i think it is in the women- spanking-men photos in the forum page iam a noughty boy and your his wife oh god did i make a boo boo iam so sorry i hope i did not upset you both i did not intend too this will put me in the bad books sorry am i forgiven

may i ask a question dear lady in november i hope to be starting work as a male model a uk company that does the same as you its f/m m/f f/f spanking its magazines videos and images and they have great partys i hope to make them a lot of cash and also use the skills i have

now i have always wanted to come to the usa but iam not one that just likes to walk around i like to be active i have seen the building were you are and its large and beutifull are there hotels near by as if i come to the usa i would like to do some videos with you these would be special it would be a spanking holiday

you see this idear came to me you are realy like a family you have lady D as mother MrM farther yourself as big sister and the two teens as lady D doughters a family now heres the plan i will inform you when i am coming for my holiday and when it is getting near the time ladyD will tell in a video to the two teens and yourself that they have an uncle in the uk that is coming over to stay for a holiday the name i use will be BARRY LINTON NEWMAN they are to sernames in my family on the day when i arrive you would all come and meet my from the airport then we would go bake to the real spanking home thats the first part done well to cut it short iam a noughty as what the teens are i get spanked the teens get spanked and it is super my work is free you get lots of cash from the videos and i get a super holiday please note i well not be coming on inderpendence day as i know what you would do to me the uk did some bad thing to the usa and iam not taking the blame and if this workes i may come to the usa once a year look i have made i new story for you and i think i will be the first englishman you have spanked what do you say best wishes loverly take care paul barry xxx
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  #5  
Old 02-08-2010, 02:04 PM
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Michael Masterson Michael Masterson is offline
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Default last one

Tired of this section appearing blank. For those of you who are not aware, you can select how many days worht of forum posts you want displayed. If you see an emtpy topic, just switch to "from beginning" to see all posts
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