Cyber-relationships

[Sandra]

I’m experiencing a most enjoyable cyber-relationship with a truly excellent Master. He uses both kindness and harshness (amongst other things) in his guidance and my life has benefited greatly under his care.
But one question niggles me – a cyber-bottom in this type of relationship can experience some real life changes. Cyber-disciplinarians seem to have to invest a lot of their time, energy and patience and I am very curious to find out what they get out of these types of relationships……

Sandra:roll:

[MartinB]

Well Sandra, for me the satisfaction comes from seeing positive changes in the lives of my ladies :angel:

Of course, there is just a tiny bit of satisfaction to be gained from exerting control and administering punishments!

Happy submission!

Martin

[Sandra]

Oh heck - I've been caught on this site by my Master - Hello Sir

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings as a cyber-disciplinarian - it sure does explain why my butt often feels well-disciplined!


Best wishes
Sandra



(Beats me how on earth he recognised himself in the above - thought I'd been smart and totally disguised everything )

[sirjames]

Hi Sandra,

Although you already have an answer from the person whose authority you most trust, I will still venture a few words on the subject. I had my first D/s oriented Cyber-relationship over 25 years ago, when the Internet was still young, and the results were typed on paper rather than showing up on a video screen. It was quite exciting to meet a woman who fantasized about being spanked, who had an incredibly active imagination and who appreciated my mind. We eventually augmented our relationship with some really hot phone conversations, and she sent me some photos, but we never actually met face-to-face. The relationship ended when she got pregnant and married the father.

Since so much of a D/s relationship is in the mind, I feel that I can go quite far with a Cyber-relationship, especially if I have the right partner. However, the relationship is ultimately a bit frustrating, because the closer you get, the more you want to meet face-to-face, and that is not always practical (especially when Cyber-partners can be on separate continents). Effectively no matter how much of the game is in the mind, what makes everything come together is the combination of mind, physical sensations and spiritual linkage. The latter becomes increasingly important as the relationship progresses, and a Cyber-relationship can only get you part of the way there.

I suppose as with any relationship, the success depends upon the people involved and their compatibility. I identify with MartinB’s comment about effecting positive changes in the life of the submissive. If we are healthy, that is what we most want in life, to have a positive impact on those whom we treasure.

Sir James

[Sandra]

Sir James

Thank you for this very informative response. I found it very easy to identify with many of your comments and agree wholeheartedly with your views on the ‘combination of mind, physical sensations and spiritual linkage’ and how ‘the success depends upon the people involved and their compatibility’. I consider myself very fortunate in meeting a Master with whom I feel very comfortable and basically on a very similar wavelength with.

Your first D/s cyber-relationship obviously left a large imprint on your life and I hope you have had many more enjoyable D/s relationships since.

Regards Sandra

[sirjames]

Hi Sandra,

One of the delights of this forum is the number of kindred spirits that one encounters from time to time.

Without going into my life history, I can say that I had my first real dungeon experience in Los Angeles shortly after that first Cyber-chat experience. The second time that I visited that LA dungeon, I met a French woman, who was as delighted as I was to be able to do sessions in French. I saw her whenever I was in LA, which was not all that often, over the next several years. We did one session with another woman, where I was a Spymaster and they were both working for me. I knew that one was a traitor, but did not know which one. Brigitte pretended that she did not understand English and of course the other woman did not understand French, so as I interrogated them in the same room, neither could “understand” the conversation that I was having with the other. And of course I had to use all sorts of delicious instruments and methods to extract the truth. We all had a tremendous amount of fun with it. That in fact has been the hallmark of all of my successful D/s relationships and scenarios face-to-face or in Cyber-space. If it works, my partner(s) enjoy it as much as I do. I am not life-style, but it is an important part of my life just the same.

One of the reasons that I mention Brigitte by name – at his distance of time it can’t be indiscrete – is that I lost track of her and then, a number of years later, was told that she had returned to France and died of cancer. I had no basis for knowing whether my source was credible or not, and so there has always been this hope of reconnecting with her, or at least learning the truth of what became of her.

Sir James

[Sandra]

Sir James

The spymaster scenario tickled me - it sounds such a fun way to explore and satisfy the desires of your D/s relationship. I have great admiration for your imagination.

However, I found it quite sad that you lost touch with Brigitte, it must play on your mind at times not knowing what happened to her over the years. I suppose that is one of the most worrying things about internet relationships - if something happens to either one then the other would be uncertain as to why communication just suddenly stops.

When my relationship with my Master became serious we recognized this possibility and made a pact that we would never leave without an explanation. So, if communication stops we both know that the other person is physically unable to keep in touch. This is particularly necessary as my Master is very old

Best Wishes Sandra

[MartinB]

Sandra

I'm not too old to use a hairbrush you cheeky young rascal!



Martin

[sirjames]

Hi Sandra,

I tend to agree with Plato that the unexamined life is not worth living, but find that that is even truer for a life without passion. Of course any passion worth its salt must at least border on obsession, and that is often true for the passions discussed in this forum. As for myself, I have been quite fortunate to have had a number of passions in my lifetime, a few lasting only a year or two, others that will probably continue through my entire life. It is also interesting how passions can feed into each other, such as the way in which a passion for literature or for the movies can feed the creation of D/s fantasies. Although solitary passions have their place, one of the greatest joys in life is sharing a passion with another, and it is this sharing of passions that brings me to the thoughts triggered by your last entry. First of all, if you meet someone with whom the experience of sharing is particularly intense, you internalize that person and carry him or her with you for a long time, perhaps your entire life. Secondly, when the passion is in some ways clandestine, the people with whom you share it are not always integrated into your life in a way that guarantees continuity. If you return to the place where you met them, be it a physical or virtual location, and they are not there, finding them again can be next to impossible. As a result, I carry within me a number of people whom I will probably never see again, but who continue to work their magic within me. So yes, there is sadness in knowing that I will probably never again encounter someone who had a very special impact on me, but that sadness is nicely mitigated by the memories.

Best wishes to you,
Sir James

[Sandra]

Ah Sir

I note your use of the word 'young' in your response - how long ago is it since that word was used to describe yourself? Hmmm, I don't even think I could hazard a guess ............................. nope!

Sandra